What’s in store on the SEO front, for the year 2009?

The title here proclaims this article to be the prediction for the year 2009. To actually avoid being at the risk of getting thrashed at the end of the year 2009, here’s a disclaimer to the article: The predictions are subjected to certain terms and condition and may or may not come true depending on it. In fact some of them may take further time to materialize and may actualize only after a couple of years!

Now that necessary precautions have been taken, lets get on to the job! Read and delight yourself with the foreseen year 2009 (in regards to the SEO domain). Frankly, do not expect heavy SEO knowledge out of it or do not actually expect it to come true rather read between the lines and understand the irony being spoken about. Have fun!

1. The search engine - ‘Altavista’ (yes a search engine exists by that name) after several years of terribly low traffic and being rated as one of the most non-reliable search engine, will get a renovation and be rehashed into a search engine that’ll leave no room for other competitors by dominating over 90% of the market!! Watch out Google!
2. SEOMoz will come out publicly with an acceptance that ‘linkscape’ was one of their biggest blunders of recent times! Yes! The same linkscape that claimed to have indexed 38 billion pages and if rumors are to be believed, they just indexed some hundred odd pages over a billion times to get to that magic number! Innovative huh?!
3. On a serious note, IMbroadcast.com, will break all its previous records of success and will become the bible of sorts for internet marketing. Loren and other guys associated with Imbroadcast.com will soon make it to the Forbes list of the richest!
4. Matt Cutts, the extremely popular SEO guy (yes, the man who is now considered to be the sole face of Google ads and Search engine) will undergo a plastic surgery, much like our own ‘Beat it’ guy Michael Jackson. However, the reason Cutts has is not obsession to fair skin like Mikey! Cutts just want to save his life from the hordes of people bugging him with questions in the SEO related public events!
5. The success of SMX mobile, SMX local etc will soon make way for conferences, seminars, websites, and video tutorials on what would be known as SMX spam! The tutorials will be titled ‘Be an SMX spam in not more than six hours’ and all wannabe spamsters will get a chance to live their dreams! It wouldn’t take much time for the wannabe’s to realize that this tutorial too was a spam too and it’ll take them nowhere less than six years to actually become a successful spammer!
6. The promotional plan of a pharmaceutical website would be that each of them who signup would get a Viagra for free and every referral would fetch them steroids and drugs illegal in their countries. The grand prize would be a free annual supply of condoms to the winner’s doorstep! SEO at its stimulated best!